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Empowering Moms: What To Say To Your Teen When She Say's She Feels Ugly

Updated: Feb 12

As a mom of three amazing daughters, I've faced the challenge of helping them navigate through insecurities about their appearance.

It's not uncommon for teens and tweens to grapple with feelings of not being pretty enough, thin enough, or having perfect skin.

In a world filled with comparison overload, building self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence becomes a unique challenge.

No matter how much we preach self-love, the influence of social media and peer comparisons seems to create a confidence force field. In this blog post, we'll explore practical ways to truly transform the way your teen perceives and values her personal image.

Mom Teens Family Photo

The Age of 'Comparison Overload'

Living in an era dominated by social media influencers and perfectly filtered images, teens and tweens constantly compare themselves to others.

As a result, words of love and affirmation alone often struggle to penetrate their confidence force field. So, how can we effectively build their self-esteem?

Say This to Your Teen When She Says She Feels Ugly, To Build Self Esteem

When your teen or tweens says she feels ugly, we need to combat self-esteem issues related to appearance. Try the following statement:

“You are one-of-a-kind, and your relationship with yourself is the longest relationship you will ever have. You possess incredible qualities and talents that make you unique. Let’s embrace your individuality and celebrate your achievements.”

Practical Solutions from 30 Years of Experience

Drawing on over 30 years of experience working with teens, tweens, and their moms in the image industry, I've discovered that understanding and embracing one's natural body shape, skin tone, and features can be a game-changer.

Empowering your child with styling hacks that genuinely transform their look and boost their self-esteem is key.

Teaching your child about their body shape and how to dress it, as well as highlighting certain areas while balancing and camouflaging others, allows them to witness the power of color and style. This approach helps them appreciate and love themselves without feeling the need to change parts of who they are.

Unlocking Confidence Through Color and Style

Even seemingly simple actions, such as discovering their three best colors based on hair, eye, and skin color, can have a profound impact on your teen's self-perception.

By understanding how to use color and style to their advantage, they can learn to love the reflection they see in the mirror.


As mothers, we play a crucial role in helping our teens and tweens build self-confidence in a world that often seems focused on unrealistic ideals.

By shifting the narrative and emphasizing individuality, achievements, and the power of personal style, we can empower our daughters to embrace their unique qualities.

Let's equip them with the tools to navigate the age of comparison overload and cultivate a positive self-image that will last a lifetime.

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